18th
Live Blog: September Vogue’s 798 Pages
Last week, when I bought an armful of September issues, the cashier at my favorite newsstand said, “You’ve got your reading cut out for you.” Little did he know that I planned to spend an entire day poring over the pages of just one magazine.
For the record: I have not opened this issue of Vogue, nor have I read what any other blogs had to say about anything other than the cover. The only thing I’ve peeked at was the back cover, because by the time I reach it, I may be too delirious to realize I’ve reached the end.
10:02 a.m.: The cover. It’s, um, interesting. And that’s the best thing I can say about it. I’ve spent the last few minutes wondering if it’s supposed to be jolie laide or just plain laide. But there isn’t one successful element of this cover. Keira’s hair: horrific. Her makeup: unremarkable. Her outfit: It looks like she’s wearing a dress that got bunched up around her waist. That belt, paired with that metallic stuff (what? can you tell what it is?) around her skirt, is unflattering. Jewelry: boring. Background: completely inscrutable. With the emphasis on things metallic and shiny in this photo, I can only assume that Keira Knightley is supposed to embody a futuristic version of fashion. In which case, I’ll gladly remain stuck in the past.
10:08 a.m.: I’m confused by this Gucci ad. Apparently, all you need for fall is a bit of fringe, a touch of fur, and a field in which to dance awkwardly.
10:11 a.m.: Naomi Campbell in four pages for Yves Saint Laurent. Does she ever age? Stunning.
10:12 a.m.: Hermès makes saddles? You know, for obscenely wealthy horses.
10:14 a.m.: Page 64, the table of contents. So this issue doesn’t consist entirely of ads! (I kind of wish it did, though. There’s a Candace Bushnell interview on page 426.)
10:16 a.m.: Linda Evangelista in an ad for L’oreal. Will Stephanie Seymour and Cindy Crawford also be making appearances in this issue?
10:18 a.m.: There are five dogs in this D&G ad. Is it sacrilege that I like the pooches more than the clothes? (Another issue brought up by this ad: am I supposed to be mixing my plaids?)
10:19 a.m.: The Marc Jacobs ad is a lovely photo of a model doing something totally reasonable. No, no, I’m joking. Do not understand this at all.
