April 2009
1 post
Naked Celebrities Show Their "Spirit" in Allure →
February 2009
1 post
This Week on Glossed Over
Lowest Common Denominator: Cosmopolitan, March
Why Does Missoni Even Bother with Models?
Michelle Obama Makes the March Cover of Vogue
Lucky’s Least Flattering Outfits for Spring
Deep Cover: Noteworthy Stories from the Newsstand
November 2008
1 post
Model Books Jobs, Vogue Solves Racism →
October 2008
14 posts
Marie Claire Editors Were the Girls I Hated in... →
We Read It So You Don't Have To: Eva Longoria... →
Magazines Onscreen: 13 Going on 30 →
The Headache-Producing Hermeticism of Elle's...
Nicole Kidman’s on the cover of November’s Elle gripping her head like she’s got a vicious migraine, and after reading this month’s “Editor’s Letter,” I know just how she feels.
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Wintour Wednesdays: "Don't They Ever Look in the... →
Ad in Glamour Creates a Contradictory Message
The November issue of Glamour features an amusing juxtaposition of editorial content and advertising. On page 48, in “Dos, Don’ts, News & Views,” the mag scolds men for checking out their co-stars’ cleavage on the red carpet:
And inside the back cover, an ad for Vassarette indicates their bra will inspire men to do just that:
(The text reads, “Hope you’re willing to sacrifice a little eye...
All politics is personal • Now on The Frisky: How fashion mag relationship advice is like a presidential debate, why China might soon have more to do with marital relations than foreign relations, some perspective on mixed Obama/McCain relationships, and, in non-political news, the reason professional athletes are so popular. Hint: It’s not what you think. Actually, it probably is what you think....
Wintour Wednesdays: "She Was Fashionably... →
Mariska Hargitay's Skewed Self Assessment
Is Mariska Hargitay’s appraisal of her body self-deprecation, the misuse of a term commonly used to mean “plus-sized,” or the result of working in an industry where breakfast is a cigarette and a swig of Starbucks? I don’t know, but it depresses the hell out of me.
In the midst of an otherwise resoundingly sane statement about eating in moderation, she describes herself in a jaw-dropping way....
Cougars, Conrad, and Calories: Another...
Dear Cosmopolitan,
Congratulations! Just when I think I couldn’t possibly be more ashamed of spending my cash on your latest issue, you manage to prove me wrong! You know, I see the guy at my newsstand more often than I see most of my friends, so it would be awesome if you could turn down the blatant lechery just a notch so that I could preserve one minuscule shred of dignity.
Read the rest of...
Wintour Wednesdays: "She Doesn't Really Like... →
Lowest Common Denominator: Lucky, November
$2.99: Lucky’s cover price
$30: Suggested retail of Kim France and Andrea Linett’s new book, “The Lucky Guide to Mastering Any Style,” excerpted in the November issue
97%: Oddly enough, the amount of content in those excerpted pages that looks exactly like every single issue of Lucky
1: Number of times each that the alleged word “fashiony” is applied to the Gap and Banana Republic
2: Staffers who...
Why I Didn't Finish Reading October's Bazaar
I’m going to keep this brief and cranky.
It’s never a good sign when I roll my eyes before I’ve even opened the magazine. Sure, the photo is novel and eye-catching, and Kirsten Dunst hasn’t appeared on any covers for a while, but “shopping issue”? Really? That differentiates this edition from every other issue how, exactly?
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Working Girl Wednesdays: A Retrospective
At last, we’ve wrapped up our journey to the world of working women in 1964. Sure, Sex and the Office was rather ridiculous, but it was also delivered a healthy dose of perspective. Aren’t you glad to live in an era where sexual harassment laws exist and women don’t have to justify working outside the home?
Here’s a brief review of the many lessons Helen Gurley Brown imparted. Hey, you never know...
September 2008
13 posts
InStyle's Insane Ideas About Women's Bodies
In “What’s Age Got to Do with It?” (InStyle, October), a survey conducted by the magazine reveals a wealth of terribly predictable stats. Readers think Demi Moore and Helen Mirren look great for their age! Forty percent of 20-year-olds use anti-wrinkle creams! (This is not news to anyone who has ever read a women’s magazine.) And 68 percent of women surveyed proclaim that they are not afraid of...
Vogue: Shopping Saves Lives, Marriages, and Sykes
In case the interminable pages of advertisements didn’t make it clear, Vogue has just one simple request for you: spend money! Virtually every page in the October issue has something to buy—from Ralph Lauren fragrance to Tiffany bangles to pretty much every garment that can conceivably be crafted out of fur. (Seriously, so much fur. Is Anna Wintour trying to provoke another pie in the face?)
But...
Working Girl Wednesdays: "An Abiding Love for...
Welcome to Working Girl Wednesdays! Need advice on handling the complexities of the modern workplace? Well, fret no more! Whether it’s a senior partner making a move or a catty co-worker plotting for your plum position, Helen Gurley Brown’s 1964 book Sex and the Office has a solution. Every Wednesday on Glossed Over, I’ll present a new tip from the legendary editor of Cosmopolitan. Is her advice...
The Elle Words: Lindsay Lohan, Leggings, and...
With the release of her new line of leggings, Lindsay Lohan is making the public relations rounds. Lacking a fresh stint in rehab or a spate of late-night carousing to dish about, the mags this month confront a new facet of Lohan’s public persona: her rumored relationship with Samantha Ronson. Are they? Aren’t they? If two women in L.A. date and refuse to discuss it with reporters, are they in...
Glamour Undermines Its Under-the-Skin Message
The October edition of Glamour is all about age. You know, it’s the issue where they divide women into incredibly broad and stereotypical categories based on one small facet of our existence and then expect us conform exactly to one of those groups.
Oh, wait, that’s every issue.
I’ll start with the upper right hand of the cover:
Love Your Looks
Rachel Bilson, Ali Larter & Diane Lane Tell...
Cosmopolitan: The Magazine for Fun, Fearless,...
Turns out that magazines haven’t always existed solely for the purpose of selling designer fashions and high-end cosmetics. Just nine years ago, one magazine tried to use its clout to sell dairy products!
Really.
In 1999,Cosmopolitanlaunched a line of low-fat yogurt and cheese in the UK. Why attach the Cosmo name to food?According to a survey, 65 percent of Britons had used edibles in the bedroom....
Working Girl Wednesdays: "Being a Career Girl Kept...
Welcome to Working Girl Wednesdays! Need advice on handling the complexities of the modern workplace? Well, fret no more! Whether it’s a senior partner making a move or a catty co-worker plotting for your plum position, Helen Gurley Brown’s 1964 book Sex and the Office has a solution. Every Wednesday on Glossed Over, I’ll present a new tip from the legendary editor of Cosmopolitan. Is her advice...
Lowest Common Denominator: Cosmopolitan, October
“Just enough”: According to the cover, the amount of bitchiness the magazine will instruct readers to deploy
Not a trace: Actual amount of bitchiness in the behavior Cosmo advises
Endless: My irritation that addressing situations in the direct but polite manner recommended would be labeled bitchiness—by a women’s magazine, no less
9: Paragraphs, of 14, in the Kate Hudson cover story “Charismatic...
Women's Magazines Still Waging War on Our Wallets
I know, I know, money has become a regular topic around here. Here’s my pledge: I promise I’ll quit ranting about it as soon as the fashion magazines stop conflating luxury goods with sound investments. (So, probably never.)
Here’s the latest communiqué in the battle to separate women from their cash, from the “Editor’s Note” in September’s InStyle:
And yet there’s that tiny voice—OK, it’s a...
Working Girl Wednesdays: "Girls Who Faint at the...
Welcome to Working Girl Wednesdays! Need advice on handling the complexities of the modern workplace? Well, fret no more! Whether it’s a senior partner making a move or a catty co-worker plotting for your plum position, Helen Gurley Brown’s 1964 book Sex and the Office has a solution. Every Wednesday on Glossed Over, I’ll present a new tip from the legendary editor of Cosmopolitan. Is her advice...
W Goes Undercover to Reveal America's Oft-Maligned...
Maybe you’ve heard, but the United States is in the midst of a presidential race! Every 24-hour cable news network has switched to continuous coverage of the speechifying, much of which consists of finger-pointing at a nebulous category of Americans known to politicians as the “elite.” So, who are these mysterious elite? Are they an Illuminati-like organization who are the true maleficent...
Working Girl Wednesdays: "The Nymphomaniac Who...
Welcome to Working Girl Wednesdays! Need advice on handling the complexities of the modern workplace? Well, fret no more! Whether it’s a senior partner making a move or a catty co-worker plotting for your plum position, Helen Gurley Brown’s 1964 book Sex and the Office has a solution. Every Wednesday on Glossed Over, I’ll present a new tip from the legendary editor of Cosmopolitan. Is her advice...
Why Allure Can't Let Carrie Underwood Be Happy
If there’s one thing that women’s magazines are about—other than, you know, hawking appallingly expensive stuff no one needs—it’s self-improvement. Every month, there are breathless reports on how to drop those extra pounds, science updates on the latest research proven to kick start our sex lives. In every issue, there’s a new technique for getting noticed in the office, another suggestion for...
August 2008
14 posts
Marie Claire's "Fashion 401K" Revolutionizes My...
Times are tough! The economy is shaky, and my retirement portfolio is leaking money. But thanks to Marie Claire’s in-depth reporting on investment plans, I no longer have to wade through a stack of dry prospectuses in a quest to find a safe haven for my hard-earned cash. Instead, I’ll just follow their suggestions and put my money into high-yield, high-end fashion! After all, according to...
Working Girl Wednesdays: "Women Like Bruises, Even...
Welcome to Working Girl Wednesdays! Need advice on handling the complexities of the modern workplace? Well, fret no more! Whether it’s a senior partner making a move or a catty co-worker plotting for your plum position, Helen Gurley Brown’s 1964 book Sex and the Office has a solution. Every Wednesday on Glossed Over, I’ll present a new tip from the legendary editor of Cosmopolitan. Is her advice...
Lowest Common Denominator: Elle, September
600+: Number of pages in the September issue, according to the cover
636: Actual number of pages in this issue
1.75: Number of hips Jessica Simpson has, also according to the cover
4: Contestants from the upcoming Stylista featured in a co-branded H&M ad (Best quote from one of the contestants: “You can look good in anything as long as you have a smile on your face and you haven’t bad too...
Bazaar Features Rachel Zoe as a Fake Size 8
Dear Bazaar,
Can we talk about this page from the September issue?
For years, we’ve been subjected to preternaturally thin models whose every excess ounce has been erased by a computer. Now you’ve taken Rachel Zoe and digitally added pounds to her form. You can’t have it both ways, Bazaar. Why is a size-8 figure acceptable only when it can be slimmed down to a 0 with the click of a mouse?
Some...
Working Girl Wednesdays: "She's Not Really That...
Welcome to Working Girl Wednesdays! Need advice on handling the complexities of the modern workplace? Well, fret no more! Whether it’s a senior partner making a move or a catty co-worker plotting for your plum position, Helen Gurley Brown’s 1964 book Sex and the Office has a solution. Every Wednesday on Glossed Over, I’ll present a new tip from the legendary editor of Cosmopolitan. Is her advice...
Live Blog: September Vogue's 798 Pages
Last week, when I bought an armful of September issues, the cashier at my favorite newsstand said, “You’ve got your reading cut out for you.” Little did he know that I planned to spend an entire day poring over the pages of just one magazine.
For the record: I have not opened this issue of Vogue, nor have I read what any other blogs had to say about anything other than the...
I'm Not in Love with Glamour's Relationship Advice...
Glamour seems to have confused itself with Cosmopolitan this month. Its “Men, Sex & Love” section is packed with the kinds of things that are usually the purview of its trashier counterpart.
It kicks off with “14 Things He Wants You to Know About His Body,” which includes little-known facts like that men enjoy receiving compliments. Thanks, Glamour, that’s going to revolutionize my...
Working Girl Wednesdays: "Don't Reach for the...
Welcome to Working Girl Wednesdays! Need advice on handling the complexities of the modern workplace? Well, fret no more! Whether it’s a senior partner making a move or a catty co-worker plotting for your plum position, Helen Gurley Brown’s 1964 book Sex and the Office has a solution. Every Wednesday on Glossed Over, I’ll present a new tip from the legendary editor of Cosmopolitan. Is her advice...
We Read It So You Don't Have To: Spilling the...
Sexy sex with him? Sexier sex clothes! Hair sex fashion sex naked sexy sex. To my admittedly biased eye, that’s what the cover lines of Cosmopolitan look like every single month. Each new issue kicks off an anxious inner monologue: Didn’t they promote those exact same stories last month? Why can’t they find a synonym for “sexy”? What is that one thing he wishes I knew about his body? Um, is...
Lucky Now Loaded with Less Expensive Stuff You...
I have a double standard when it comes to the clothes in magazines: I’m way more offended by a $300 bracelet than I am by a $25,000 ball gown. See, ball gowns exist purely to remind me how plebeian I am. They have nothing to do with real life (or, at least, my life), and I will never have cause to buy one, so I want to ogle only the grandest, most ostentatious gowns in magazines. But when Bazaar...
Working Girl Wednesdays: "Get Ready to Be Asked If...
Welcome to Working Girl Wednesdays! Need advice on handling the complexities of the modern workplace? Well, fret no more! Whether it’s a senior partner making a move or a catty co-worker plotting for your plum position, Helen Gurley Brown’s 1964 book Sex and the Office has a solution. Every Wednesday on Glossed Over, I’ll present a new tip from the legendary editor of Cosmopolitan. Is her advice...
Jennifer Garner Hawks Neutrogena Night Cream for...
According to a new Neutrogena TV commercial, “Every girl has a past.” Even Jennifer Garner! Apparently, visible signs of aging are a punishment for all those times we “did some things that maybe we shouldn’t.” How convenient that Neutrogena has invented a potion that fights wrinkles and absolves sins! Because, you know, what I really look for in a night cream is forgiveness. Watch the commercial...
The Language of Magazines: Is "Curvy" Completely...
I should have known the term “curvy” was on the fast track to obsolescence when Marie Claire used the slender-but-busty Katherine Heigl as an exemplar of the body type. What makes a woman curvy? It used to be the word was bestowed upon those lovely women who, nonetheless, were heavier than the Hollywood-lollipop standard. Now? The definition has loosened. It seems any celeb who hasn’t retained...
August's Vogue Made Me Feel Better About My Life...
Whenever I feel a bit down, I turn to Vogue to distract me. Not because the content makes me happy—but because reading an issue always serves as a reminder that, no matter my troubles, there are millions of completely unimportant things I could worry about instead! The August issue forced me out of my funk to ponder the provenance of the term “mogulette” (page 70), whether my underarms need a...
July 2008
16 posts
Working Girl Wednesdays: "Stow a Pint of Vodka...
Welcome to Working Girl Wednesdays! Need advice on handling the complexities of the modern workplace? Well, fret no more! Whether it’s a senior partner making a move or a catty co-worker plotting for your plum position, Helen Gurley Brown’s 1964 book Sex and the Office has a solution. Every Wednesday on Glossed Over, I’ll present a new tip from the legendary editor of Cosmopolitan. Is her advice...
Victoria Beckham Tackles Weighty Issues in Allure
When clothing sizes are mentioned in magazines, it’s most often in the context of ignoring them. Buy based on fit, not on what the tag says, we’re told. Your worth isn’t linked to your pants size, they say. Don’t diet for the way you look, diet for your health! It’s perfectly sound advice that makes hypocrites out of the very magazines that espouse such philosophies. The real message? Love your...
We Read It So You Don't Have To: What Jessica Biel...
Jessica Biel landed the cover of the August issue of Bazaar—and inside, she’s the star of an eight-page feature that pairs her with five designers in a series of dance-inspired poses. I say “dance-inspired” because little actual dancing is evident, especially on the part of the designers. Vera Wang is “play[ing] ballerina” by sitting on a metal ladder. Is that how it works? Because in that case,...
Italian Vogue's "Black Issue" Goes Into Reprints
As 10,000 freshly printed copies of the July edition are shipped to newsstands, Italian Vogue editor Franca Sozzani talked to Reuters about the magazine’s incredibly successful “Black Issue.” This quote, in particular, struck me:
“America … is ready for a black president, so why are we not ready for a black model?”
Aren’t we ready, though?
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InStyle Just Saved Me $64,705
In the August issue, “Where Can I Find…” answers the burning question of where Eva Longoria shops. Here’s one element of her look:
Oh, thanks, InStyle! I totally would have spent $65,000 in the vain hope of accessorizing just like Eva Longoria if you hadn’t alerted me to the possibility of spending less. I’ll just put my black Amex away now.
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Working Girl Wednesdays: "The Biggest and Best...
Welcome to Working Girl Wednesdays! Need advice on handling the complexities of the modern workplace? Well, fret no more! Whether it’s a senior partner making a move or a catty co-worker plotting for your plum position, Helen Gurley Brown’s 1964 book Sex and the Office has a solution. Every Wednesday on Glossed Over, I’ll present a new tip from the legendary editor of Cosmopolitan. Is her advice...